Impending Doom

As terrible as my arthritis has been throughout my life, there are kids and adults both who are far worse off than myself. I have had it pretty easy, compared to many with this disease. Yes, there are others who have it easier – those who will outgrow the disease or already have done so. I am grateful every single day that I am not worse off.

With all that said, I’ve been feeling some odd sense of impending doom. I feel like something bad is going to happen. Normally, there is just a sense of foreboding. This time – whether it’s out of fear or knowledge – I feel as though this something is related to my own health, or more specifically, arthritis. It seems like the bad days I haven’t had that often have returned with a vengeance. Some days (or even times of the day) I try to fight the pain; others, I’m simply too fatigued to do so.
I haven’t been able to sleep lately either. It could be because I’m moving into an apartment with my friend Katy on Monday, nerves, or it could just be because my body is ridiculous. Whatever the case may be, I have had two cups of coffee today, trying to up my caffeine levels in order to relieve pain. I’m so tired of taking medicine. I don’t want to throw a pity party, but I am not entirely sure how to handle the things going on for me right now. I guess I’m just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

New Job

So I started my new job today. It was amazing to come home after work without being in a world of hurt. Like I predicted, this new job is going to be so much better for my JRA. I get to sit at a desk in a big comfy chair and answer phones. I have to obviously get up and do some running around, but it’ll be nice to have lower stress for my joints. I have to wear dress shoes, but if I’m not on my feet so much, that shouldn’t be too bad.

My thighs around my knees have been hurting lately. Dunno what that’s all about. I know all of my lymph nodes have been more swollen in the past few weeks, with the exception of Saturday through today. Of course, the past few days, I’ve taken meds right after I woke up to keep swelling down.

State Fair

So my boyfriend and I went to the State Fair yesterday. I was a little worried about how I would handle it, but I think I found something that helps the pain be not so bad. Obviously, wearing sneakers instead of my flip-flops helped a lot (boyfriend’s idea, of course). I took three ibuprofen before even leaving the house. More than that, though, we stopped and sat down quite a bit.

It seems like the more I open up to people about what I’m going through, the more understanding they are. Friends at work are a little more understanding when I get flustered and so is the boyfriend. If I had realized in the past how much better my life would be with a little more communication on my part, I would’ve started a million years ago.

Fatigue

Lately, especially in the last week or so, I have begun to deal with more and more fatigue as a result of my arthritis. It’s gotten to the point where I am nearly passing out from exhaustion, only to sleep for 2-4 hours at a time (well, at least today… then again, I was up most of the night). I’ve been reading up on fatigue in the past few hours and found out some interesting things.

People on vegan diets fare better than those who take in dairy and meats. Prince Fielder may not be the only reason I’m seriously considering going vegetarian.
My emotional distress is probably making my fatigue worse. That’s probably a no-brainer to someone not wearing my shoes, but it didn’t really occur to me. (By the way, I am starting a new job next week that will be a lot better physically and emotionally for my arthritis, so that’s awesometastic)
And I’m glad that I’m not on huge painkillers for yet another reason.