In the last few weeks, everything in my life got put on hold. I owe everyone an explanation.
Getting a divorce
In 2007, I met my husband. We were engaged in 2012, and then we got married in 2014. Within a few years, I discovered my queerness and gender fluidity. If I’m honest, I thought that once we got through that period, we would be golden.
I was wrong.
T and I are going to be getting a divorce eventually. For now, I’m working on finding a new place to live.
As sad as I am about it, part of it is him struggling with my queerness and gender. I would rather feel seen in full than in part, but it is what it is.
We’ve been polyamorous for a little bit, but he only recently began dating. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it means I’ve been on dates and relatively recently more seriously dating. Polyamory is about many loves, and I’m happy to answer more questions about that. I haven’t been as out about it to avoid awkwardness with family, but have reached a point where I’m past that.
Ian, one of my partners, has been instrumental in helping me process my feelings about so many things surrounding relationship stuff. It’s been interesting dating them because they are very similar to me – the real me that often has gotten hidden. It’s been really nice to find the parts of me that I’ve hidden for so long – but most importantly, to find someone who appreciates all the weird things about me.
Gus died
Gussy had been sick since Halloween. He passed away on the 16th and went out doing what he loved most – snuggling me and listening to music.
I miss him so much, and I can’t help but think he would still be here if my relationship with T wasn’t tits up. Neither of us paid as much attention to the piggies as we should’ve recently. Combine that with an infection we couldn’t get ahead of and, well, you get the hellish morning of the 16th.
What happens now?
Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve never felt so many emotions all at once. I’m frustrated, sad, hurt, angry, in love, grieving, working, and more.
I’ve been staying off social media and away from email for a while, and probably will still be slower to respond to things.
My hope is that, within a few weeks, things will find a new stride. Naturally, I will try to keep people in the loop as much as I can.
Thanks for being patient <3
It is not easy to be alone but when nature take it cause there’s little to which we can do as a human.
Kirsten, Take it the way it comes and don’t allow any past to take over your future. Though it’s not easy to forget, you just have to pick the pieces and carry on.
Likewise, am using this avenue to also congratulate you in winning another award again “The Best Rheumatoid Arthritis Blogs of 2019”
This shows how impactful you’re to us all your follower and entire RA community.
Whatsoever affects you, affects everyone that lean on you.
Take heart and I believe God will always be there for you.
Kirsten, the Lord is your strength and your fortress. He will also be there and please count on him.
Remain blessed.
Louis