Whenever you get hard on yourself today, comfort yourself with a physical gesture and a few words of compassion, such as, “I’m having a tough time, but I deserve my own love and kindness.” According to self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff, physical touch releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin – even when the touch is your own.
Today’s Tiny Buddha Challenge is an interesting one. I often find myself rubbing parts of my body like my neck/collarbones or hips when I’m not well and am in need of comfort or a pick-me-up. I had not put together, though, how this might relate to oxytocin, the chemical of love.
What do you usually do when you start getting hard on yourself? How does this keep you stuck?
Lately, I have been much better on this as I’ve been working on self-love and self-care as a part of the #ChronicSex movement. However, that doesn’t mean this is perfect or that I talk to myself like a champ all the time.
Over the weekend, I had a hard day at my swimming class. As I was in the bathroom at home after the class, I reflected on how stupid it was for me to try to take a class at the same time one day a week for two and a half months without considering my fatigue and pain levels would get in the way – or how my fibro and other issues would be exacerbated.
It was bad.
I had to take a step back… figuratively, obviously, because the toilet was in the way… and take a breath.
That negative self-talk has been ingrained in all of us for various reasons – family/childhood issues, the media, etc.
Recognizing it when it happens is the first step to stopping it because you know what’s going on.
It happened to be my sister’s birthday so, since I always bring my phone in the bathroom thanks to IBS, I texted her to tell her that I loved her bunches.
Stepping back, I know that I did this as a way of making things up to myself for having been harsh as I often utilize my sister as a way to treat myself better. I’ll think, “Is this something I would say to Kelsey?” If it’s not, then I know the situation has turned too negative.
What, if anything, do you fear might happen if you’re not hard on yourself? Is is possible that’s not true?
This is a really good question for us all to examine.
Sometimes, I know that it may seem like we won’t achieve as much without pushing our own buttons, without being horrible to egg ourselves on.
We can do so much more without that.
What type of physical gesture do you find most soothing?
A rubbing/scratching in the area between my chest and my neck. It can be erotically pleasing or just comforting.
What about you? I’d love to hear your answers for these questions!