It’s a Miracle!

Oh Enbrel, you make me have amazing dreams… and delusions of grandeur that I’m okay with having.

Wednesday, I had my appt with the NP at my rheumy’s office to clear me for Enbrel again after my debacle with my not-so-lovely sinus infection. And I had an amazing time. It’s not just because I love the office and everyone there, or because the NP is super sweet to me.

It’s because I had no swelling anywhere.

Let me say that again.

After 18 and a half years of swelling just about every day, I HAD NO SWELLING ANYWHERE.

Right? The fuck?

I was on the verge of tears in the office and everyone could tell. I just kept saying “okay, this is really weird” and “no, um, actually that doesn’t hurt at all.” My sed rate was 18, 18! My labs were all within normal ranges too.

I would seriously be lying if I didn’t tell you that I cried in the car before I drove home. This couldn’t have come at a better time. Mentally the last little while I have been… fragile is maybe too nice of a word. I have been crying myself to sleep, crying at work, pretty much just crying. I thought maybe it was the combination of reading The Time Traveler’s Wife and letting myself have my semi-annual full-on period. But I think it was a little more than that. I didn’t bring it up with the NP but I did indicate it on my pre-appt worksheet so there’s that at least.

In my last post, I mentioned that I had been able to run and hit the gym. Grand total in the last week – about 4 minutes of running, a good amount of fast walking, and two trips to the gym. And despite bits of chocolate sneaking into my diet, I have been pretty good at sticking to paleo foods. Last night I turned down pizza from my favorite GF pizza place right down the road for a salad. This is huge. Pizza is my favorite! But this also may have something to do with the fact that last Saturday I had a nasty migraine and threw up their pizza… which tasted the same coming up. That was weird.

So anyway! Enbrel and I got busy with each other last night. I’m glad to have him back in my life. We kicked Arava out of our med bed. Three’s a crowd, right? I needed this good news so much. I felt like I have been trying so hard and getting nowhere, on a gigantic treadmill from the ‘fuck you’ company. Now I feel like I’m getting somewhere, somewhere awesome.

In two weeks, the boyfriend and I will be off on our vacation to trek Civil War history – Gettysburg, Antietam, Harper’s Ferry, and the Shenandoah Valley! Needless to say, this Enbrel and happy news will (I hope!) make this trip easier than my mind keeps thinking it will be. My meds and my House MD cane will be trekking around in history mud. I’m pretty excited!