For a while now, I’ve been having conversations with the different people in my life about getting a disabled parking permit. I didn’t want to do it at first, because I am not “disabled” and that is taking away from the people who are. I don’t want to have people stare at me all stupid like when I get out of the car and I’m not in visible terrible condition.
But I called and asked my rheumy about it yesterday (technically, it was her nurse), and they’re sending me the form with the doctor’s information completed soon.
I have mixed feelings. I’m excited to get it, but also getting it means that I am accepting more of the disease than I used to… Does that mean I am going to start giving up more? What about those looks? Or people questioning me?
*sigh*
Also, I have a nodule on my right big toe’s very bottom knuckle. I think it could also have something to do with my work shoes, but who knows. It aches and that toe is numb, so… yeah.
I felt the same way when I got my my disabled parking pass. To be honest, it has been such a blessing. Remember according to the Americans with disabilities act, no one has the right to question your disability, even if it's "invisible."
Just to assure you, ive had mine for 2 years now, and not once have I gotten a look, and if I have, I haven't noticed. Once you let go of the fact that you are somehow "different" and stop comparing yourself to everyone else, it gets a lot easier, but yes, this takes a lot of work, acceptance, and grieving. If you can learn to accept you are who you are, it gets better. Good luck to you my friend.